currently listening to: Playing god by Paramore. current mood: sulky and hungry.
its been quite a while too since ive last updated. haha. seems like forever. well paramore was first and foremost the most amazing night of my life! haha. i swear. even not being able to see the stage for like a quarter of the show i still get to experience the live performance of my favourite band. i swear its the only band that i want to watch live before i die. well for the exception of the kpop stuff which i have been obsessed about for the past few years. ahaha.
im so awed by the fact that they played my favourite songs ever from the past albums. well maybe not my heart(i was waiting for that) but pressure, never let this go, thats what you get, let the flames begin and for a pessimist im pretty optimistic. haha. they played misery business as well. songs from the new album is uhm ignorance, careful, looking up, the only exception and brick by boring brick. haha. oh they played decode as well. i was waiting for playing god and feeling sorry actually. haha. well i guess i just have to listen from the album it self.
i saw many people i know. haha. from those that ive known since pri sch up to those ive known in poly. even my best friend's sister was there haha. i think no matter how much i sweat or how long i waited it was all worth it. haha..
i know ive been moody for the previous posts. i just dunno whats up with me now. haha. brain not functioning properly i guess. well i guess its another lonely holiday b4 school starts. im wondering whether i should just go out for starbucks alone or just have it take away and enjoy it at home haha.
now im craving for some korean mixed rice, bibimbap. haha. its delicious. really. now im seriously contemplating whether i should go out and buy it home. haha. wonder if its still open. damn i want me some kimchi haha. i have these weird cravings and im nt even pregnant. well i shoudnt b! haha. maybe cuz im sick i want to eat so many things cuz of my tongue.
sometimes i find it funny when u like this person and the person doesnt know it and then when that person finally finds out u no longer like that person and that everything will be awkward btwn the two of you. haha. its weird yes but its true haha. love is a silly thing but if you can last a lifetime with the person you love then its definitely true love. but i find that when people divorce after a while they still dont regret anything cuz they have given their all and there was nth else they could have done to save it. sometimes when people are in love when they are younger, they might not feel the same when they grow older if they are not meant to be.
okay ive been random today. and i guess super boring ahah no one comes to read my blog anymore cuz i dont update regularly. and when i do its either emo, about food, or just random stuff. haha. nth much on my daily life cuz nth much happens like now. ive been lying in bed since i woke up. i need to go shower and eat haha. hungry person. i might be getting bibimbap if my mum allows it. then maybe starbucks after haha. c yall later.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010{ 1:18 AM }
i should sleep. but i wanna continue hearing my favourite songs first. but dear world. goodnight.
{ 1:04 AM }
this is one of my favourite songs. its one of my all time favourite. i think when i first heard the song. i was in love with the song. i wanna thank you for introducing me to this song.
i actually made a cover of it. not that good i might add. but its been a long while since i actually had the chance to sing it. even tho i was supposed to do it with you, i made it so that i could at least dedicate it to you. thank you again my friend. here is to you.
i guess the song did have a meaning to it. hah. not the happiest but its still meaningful.
It's twelve o' clock and I need your attention It's like the alcohol making my head spin Your scent is the rum. the room is a bottle Keeping me hopeless 'til I wake tomorrow
And if tonight ever makes a difference The way that I feel the way that I'll remember it I'll take this down until the glass remains Swallow the words that I was meant to say
It's a long drive back to Vegas skies So why don't I make one more wrong turn tonight, so
Say goodnight our first goodbye I've only got forever and forever is fine Just take your time We'll stop the clock together And know that the timing was right
All of these guards they stand tall and defensive Putting up walls around what was once innocent It won't let me in, but I'm stronger than that 'Cause you stole my eyes and I've never looked back
Girl, last night I forgot to mention The way that I feel, the way that I'll remember this When we're this young, we have nothing to lose We just the clock to beat and a hand to choose
It's a long drive back to Vegas skies So I don't, I make one more wrong turn tonight, so
Say goodnight our first goodbye I've only got forever and forever is fine Just take your time We'll stop the clock together And know that the timing was right
It's a long way down Just fall into place and you'll fall into me We'll make it out you'll see
So, say goodnight, our first goodbye I've only got forever and forever is fine Just take your time We'll stop the clock together
And say goodnight, our first goodbye I've only got forever and forever is fine Just take your time We'll stop the clock together And know that the timing was right
Vegas Skies by the Cab.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010{ 11:55 PM }
i have no more energy left. i just can't do this anymore. i don't have the strength to carry on living. i just hope god will do something to make me feel better. but i don't think i deserve it anyway
i just feel like its the end of life. nth i do pleases anybody. i just am excess baggage. i dont deserve to live. should i go back to self mutilisation? no one cared b4, no one is going to care now.
it always made me feel better hurting myself. the feeling of blood flowing down your arms. the smell of the blood. the pain that you feel when the blade cuts. getting high on the blood loss.
i think there is a difference between getting hurt and feeling pain. getting hurt is most probably a bruise or a scratch kinda of feeling. but to me feeling pain always excites me. it calms me down and makes me feel that i dont need anyone else to make me feel stupid or unwanted.
i think feeling pain makes me realise that im not always going to be loved or accepted by people. like i said. no one really cared anyways. so there wont be any tragedy in me dying anyway.
crap. i just realised my tears were flowing non-stop. i guess i really have a sad life. goodnight fellow humanity.
this cruel, cruel world. when are you going to make life easier for everyone. might as well just blow up.
